Letting go and moving on…

David was eagerly looking forward to 27th January, 2014. The college festival was underway and it was his last college festival as he was a final-year student in his college. He had made great plans to enjoy the day, either participating in or watching the various competitions that were the highlights of that day. He was specially upbeat about the sculpture-making competition, poster-making competition and quiz competition to be held on that day.  The previous year, David had personally mentored a group of dedicated junior students in the sculpture-making competition and his team had won the first prize in it. This year, his team worked all by themselves and from what he had observed, he had a firm belief a second-time victory was definitely possible! The past 3 years, he had won prizes in the poster-making competition and this year, he wanted to add a last feather to his cap. But, he was mainly anticipating the Quiz competition because his team-mate was none other than his best friend Kevin, with whom he had planned to team up for this event a long time back. 

However, fate had other plans…

2 days before the eventful day, David had a terrible war of words with one of the team members. He had mistakenly done something, which hurt the team, especially Kevin, who was also a member of the sculpting team. David wished to apologize but he couldn’t do it. There was a severe feeling of guilt inside him, that held him back. He did not want to aggravate the situation further, so he silently withdrew himself from the chaos. He did not want to further spoil the mood of the team, as the competition was very near. Sadly, Kevin decided not to participate in the quiz with David as it was very clear he was very disappointed with the actions of his best friend.  David was devastated! He never imagined the situation would take such a worse turn. On 27th January, David decided not to go to college as his presence would irk the team members. In the sculpture making event, the team won the first prize again. Moreover, Kevin also bagged the second prize in the quiz along with one of his classmates. When David got the good news, a flash of pain pierced through him. He was , no doubt, happy to hear the good news but he instantly realized that throughout his entire life, he would live with the guilt that because of his mistakes, he robbed himself of a chance to experience the joyous moment  along with his team and especially Kevin. That moment would never come in his life again. He began to self-loathe himself. There was no way he could let go of this pain; the pricking was so intense!

MistakesIn this case, which is based on a real-life incident that I witnessed, David’s own mistakes had brought him in a miserable state, from which he couldn’t set free for a long time. The thought that he couldn’t be with his team at the victory moment ate him from inside. What hurt him more that he had disappointed Kevin and it seemed clear to him that his best friend wouldn’t trust him anymore. David realized that the best way to deal with this crisis would be to let time heal the wounds. But, he feared that time might just take a very long route. He had to endure the pain and guilt. So, he decided to learn to let go  and move on, until the situation gets better. And it was the best decision he ever made.

Many a times in life, we come across similar situations which leave us devastated and terribly heartbroken. Guilt, anger and self-loathing follow soon. During such times, some people take the very big mistake of committing suicide or inflicting physical pain to punish themselves and free themselves of the guilt. Some people go into severe depression and withdraw themselves into a shell, so that the outside world don’t see their sufferings. But, is this the way to deal with the harsh moments of your life? According to me, such brutal steps are taken only by those who are not counselled properly at the right time. In a complicated and busy world as today, people seldom have time for each other, to help each other deal with the problems of life, to offer proper counsel and advice when needed. Then how would people like David lead a normal life again? The best way would be to learn the art of letting go and moving forward…yourself and not with the help of others! This process would itself be the penance that would slowly absolve one of his or her guilt and other hard emotions . In this regard, self-introspection helps a lot. If you know your shortcomings due to which you tend to hurt and disappoint others, try to remove those from your personality. It wouldn’t be a easy process, let me tell you, but it would be worthwhile in the end. Make a note of all the wrongdoings of your life  and take responsibility of them. Blaming others for your actions would only taint your image. Lastly, learn to forgive yourself, once you accept your faults. Hating yourself and punishing yourself, even after realizing your mistakes, will thwart your progress in the learning process of self-improvement.

🙂 There are many ways to deal with life situations. But, often we take the negative approach. For a change, let us look into our lives again and decide ourselves what would be the best way to lead a normal happy life. 🙂

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