Childhood is a time in any person’s life, when one wishes for things which seem achievable and possible at that moment, but in reality, such things seldom exist and even if one succeeds in acquiring them, they have a limited shelf life! I did wish for one such thing and now, I realize it was the greatest fallacy I ever made!
I wished I could have only one best friend throughout my entire life………. 😦
As I travel back through my past, reminiscing memories of all the people who I thought were my best friends, I ask myself “Did you really have this one fabulous person who you could keep close to you as your best friend till now?” A big NO slapped me hard on my face! It didn’t hurt me, for it was the truth which I have to accept, however painstaking the task may be. The truth was that I could never maintain my ‘best’ friendship for a long time; eventually I had to seek another one. Every time, I found a lot many similarities with a friend and developed a close rapport and bonding with him or her, I mistook them to be my best friends. When fights occurred with them, the friendship crumbled into dust at once. Where did it go all wrong?
Now,when I introspect those times, I feel it was all delusional; there doesn’t exist anything called a best friend. You either have a close friend or just a normal friend.
I wouldn’t write about my bitter experiences of losing best friends in life; they are something I don’t wish to remember. But I want to share the valuable lessons I learnt from them. Here are my reasons why one shouldn’t have a best friend:
- People enter your life and leave too. Very few actually stay back. The thought of having a single best friend throughout your entire life, possibly up to death, is clearly meaningless. If you have some close friends, you can enjoy life till the end with a few of them at least. No worries!
- When you are obsessed with the thought that you should have only one best friend throughout your entire life, as long as possible, you create an invisible barrier for all the other people who wish to be friends with you. You tend to avoid making new friends; in fact, you gradually distance yourselves from all the existing friends you have.
- Sooner or later, most of the friends would be disappointed or frustrated sometimes to see you give so much importance to one friend as your best friend. What you wouldn’t realize then is how much you’ve hurt the people who considered you one of their close friends and you didn’t even turn towards them.
- Many a times, having a best friend becomes a one-sided affair. I committed this mistake all through my childhood! You think of a friend as your best friend and put so much faith in your thinking that you fail to see that the other person doesn’t think so about you. When you finally realize that, there is only grief and anger!
- Alright, consider that your so-called ‘Best’ friend acknowledges the friendship and agrees to be your best friend. Slowly and steadily, you begin to build expectations from him or her, mostly the ones you would like to see them do for you. I created quite a number of unrealistic and stupid expectations from the best friends I made. What I should have seen then that I was overburdening my ‘best’ friends with something which they may sometimes fail to deliver. What if he or she doesn’t meet my expectations? Of course, they wouldn’t all the time; the end results are misunderstandings, fights and broken friendship!
- Not every person has the same set of emotions and level of understanding. Thinking that your ‘best’ friend will run to help you in times of trouble, even if you don’t tell him or her, is the greatest blunder one could make. You have to share to be cared! In such times, if you have some close friends, you can be assured that there will at least be someone for you.
- The worst thing that can happen is that you develop feelings for the ‘best’ friend of the opposite sex. It simply ruins everything!
These are just my reasons why one shouldn’t have a best friend; they may not apply to those people who wonderfully maintain their relationship with their best friends and set examples for others. In a general sense, it is wise to choose and have a small, well-knitted group of 4-5 close friends, with whom you can have fun, share your times of joy and sorrow and build life-long cherishable memories.